Just ride.

I finally did it... I biked to work for the first time in over two years.

I used to be a semi-hardcore cyclist. I would even bike in the winter and rain without complaining about it. Since I don't have a drivers license or car I found that my bike was liberating and made me feel independent. I could get where I needed to go without relying on anyone else but my legs. I would work crazy 12 hour shifts in a night club and then bike home at 2am, no fear at all. Since then... I have become a bit of a wussy.

My fiancee and I went to the USA on the weekend to pick up some lanterns for our wedding and I also stopped by Target and bought a Schwinn Hybrid Cruiser. This is my first non-vintage bike in like 12 years and she rides well. (Also weighs about half of what a vintage cruiser weighs which is nice!)

Today's ride was fairly short (8km (25 minutes in traffic)) and it still really put my body to the test. The ride was mostly downhill with a few very steep uphill climbs. I found that to be the hardest challenge and at one point had to stop to catch my breath. At one hill I thought I would pass out or throw up but I pushed myself to keep going. Definitely felt the burn on my thighs and calves.



I felt a bit like a noob with all these seasoned cyclist passing me. You know the ones with the clip on shoes and fancy bikes. If anything that brought out my competitive side to keep pedaling and go faster.

The ride home is going to be an even bigger challenge since it is 90% uphill riding. I think I may mentally be psyching myself out more than it being a physical challenge.

My favorite part about biking is that you can only become better at it. It's really exciting to see what my body is really capable of and knowing that I won't be in the same place in a week as I am today.
 


 xoxo Breton

Falling off the wagon...

...and then not getting back on.

I've been chunky on and off for my whole life. I remember being twelve or thirteen years old and weighing myself at 155 pounds. My weight has always plagued me. I have been on more crash diets than I can count and have always thought that maybe life would be better if only I was skinny. 

Well fuck that shit. 

I've definitely worked hard and then kind of just stopped working hard over the last two months. But I don't want to view this as a failure. Sometimes life happens and sometimes I don't want to wake up and go to the gym or starve myself on quinoa salads. Sometimes I really want a bagel. Sometimes I am tired as hell from working 11 hour days and would rather watch Gypsy Sisters and cuddle with my dog.

Life is fabulous at size 12. Even more fabulous than it was when I was a very tight size 6.

Here I am last week in Cancun, Mexico. Curvy and feeling great.

Truth: Your happiness has nothing to do with your dress size.

Other than my love of fried food, I think my other healthy living demotivation is the constant possibility of "failure."  It sucks how we are constantly judged by ourselves and others for getting a soy no whip mocha frappucino if we're trying to eat well. We set ourselves up to fail  by completely prohibiting indulgences and then being horrible to ourselves if we cave once in while...or in my case for two entire months of binge eating bad food.

Why do we measure or success and failure by how long we can hang on to a goal? Who says that our goals need to be achieved right this minute? Most good things take time to achieve and are never without challenges. We need to learn that failure is OK and a part of the process. It's a long and bumpy road to any worthwhile goal and sometimes it's ok to pull over to take a break or even re-think your direction.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill 

To get back on track I am going to purchase a new bike this weekend and cycle to work whenever the weather corporates with me. There was a time when I used to cycle to work and home every day and not only did I look great and have killer legs...I also felt amazing. My fiancee also just bought a bike and I can't wait to hit some trails with him. The cherry blossoms are still out in Toronto and the lilacs are just blooming. 


xo Breton